I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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