Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
