My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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