fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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