You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize