Sponge bath it is.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
