Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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