I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
