So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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