You smell like stripper and shame
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
