Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
