How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
