Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize