In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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