ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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