I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
