I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
