Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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