Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
