i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
