I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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