I heard we made out
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
