She said her name was "party"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
