how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
