I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize