He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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