apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
