About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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