and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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