Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
