i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
