I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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