My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I deserve this hangover.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
