I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
