Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
two words: eviction party
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
