..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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