I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
