Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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