I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
