Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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