i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
