I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
