it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
