I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
