I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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