don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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