That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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