i love accidental penises.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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