Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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