I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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