Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
