I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
