Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
