You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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