so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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