Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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