My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
