69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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