I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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