Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
